When I was in high school, I had the chance to be a student leader and I was really good at it! (or so I thought.) I got to tell other kids what to do and they had no choice but listen to me. The teachers loved me because they didn’t have to play the bad guy and hey… I was their go-to guy. I thought I was set to leave school and be the CEO of a company. I kept telling myself, “Marco, you got this!” Oh boy, was I in for a very rude awakening.
I am sure you can imagine how the rest of the story went. I got a real job, tried the same shenanigans, got laughed at by co-workers, and I was very ineffective at getting anyone to do anything the way I thought was right. You know that saying, “people learn by hitting brick walls?” Yeah, that was me. Needless to say, I have learned my lesson. Lucky for you, no brick walls need to be harmed. I am going to share with you a little secret that will spare you from the pain and agony that all first-time leaders (and aspiring leaders) will face.
Thanks to some great mentors and some “ah ha!” moments in my career, I learned that my main problem influencing others around me was the way I was providing feedback. Here is how I used to do it:
- You are doing a great job! Love it!
- However, there are a few things you could do differently. (Insert criticism here)
- Keep doing a great job!
I thought I was being positive and uplifting giving feedback this way, however, I learned that this method was ineffective because: 1. it’s lacking specific details, 2. the praise is vague and misleading. Over the years, I have worked hard to improve these skills. But it wasn’t until I started here at Holiday Inn Club Vacations over 4 years ago, that I learned something that transformed me into a coaching guru: The STAR models from our partners at DDI. STAR simplifies the way we provide feedback while helping your team members feel more confident and competent. And normally, it goes something like this:
- Situation or Task – “I observed (insert specific scenario here)”
- Action – “And you took the following action (insert action here)”
- Result – “The result of that was (share the outcome)”
- Alternative Action – “Next time, I recommend (enter desired action)”
- Alternative Result – “When you do that, you will notice (share alternative outcome)”
The feedback should never sound that robotic, but I wanted to break it down for you. The idea is to take the essence of this and use your own words. Since I started using these models, I feel like people take me more seriously and I am more influential. And don’t think that the STAR models are just for providing coaching. They’re also great for providing positive feedback to reinforce the actions and behaviors we look for! I recommend you check out DDI’s extended blog posts on the STAR models by following the links below:
I hope you find this information as helpful as I have. Thanks for reading. Cheers!
